“First comes love, Then comes Marriage, Then comes the baby in the baby carriage!”
Well, what if the order was reversed? Your whole life you’ve been told this is how it’s supposed to be, but you were never prepared for the things that took place in between!
“Here comes the baby in the baby carriage.” Some women think because they’ve gotten pregnant that the ring is sure to follow, but in the words of my mother, “A baby don’t keep no man!” The worst thing you can do is force a relationship because of the child! I get it; you wouldn’t have laid with him unprotected if you didn’t see husband material. That’s the problem, maybe you saw him for something more than he saw in himself. Fellas you’re not off the hook that easy. You knew deep down inside she wanted you for more than sex, but you let a temporary feeling destroy her goals and dreams. She was programmed as a little girl only to have children with her husband, and now you’re gone and here comes another man to put together the baby carriage. Now, the fairytale has turned into a disaster because you were playing house instead of building one!
“Girl, y’all have been together for almost five years; he hasn’t proposed yet?” “When are y’all getting married?” These type of questions will put pressure on any relationship because you start wondering what’s wrong — wondering why all of your friends and family have taken that walk down the aisle and your just good enough to be a bridesmaid or an usher. Marriage is more than picking out the perfect dress or planning this amazing ceremony for people who only showed up for the free drinks and food.
Have you stopped and asked yourself, “Am I husband/ or wife material?” Are we getting married because of time, are we pleasing everyone, or is this someone I want to spend the rest of my life with?! Remember the television series, Sex In the City , and Carrie and Big were in a ten-year relationship, and four years later, in the movie, she attempted to marry Big, but he stood her up at the wedding because he was not ready. Now don’t get me wrong nobody should wait forever, shacking up, to get married but don’t live by everyone else’s rule book either. A wife knows she’s with her husband through thick and thin, not just the ups. A husband knows his wife when he meets her and knows he will love, cherish, honor, and value her. The rest are just looking to play house until the lease is up.
Everyone knows that any stable relationship is built off of “Love!” Love is not forced. Love is not a competition. Love is not for show. Is there such a thing as love at first sight? Of course! Now, how often does that happen is a different topic. Love is built off of so many different elements like trust, honesty, and loyalty. You have to learn to love unconditionally and wholeheartedly. We can spend so much time with a person that we automatically assume we’re in love because that’s all we know. That’s all we’ve seen and it’s just a routine that we lust!
“Baby, I love you!” Do you say it so much that you’ve forgotten the meaning? Are you guys still dating regularly? Are your goals aligned with one another? This is important because if you’re not, it’s time to start “Making Love!” Not just the physical but building a better bond so that you are on the same page and not seeking love from someone you’re in lust with.
There’s no fairytale in every relationship, and every relationship doesn’t mimic the rule book. Get you somebody who’s willing to learn you and willing to acknowledge their imperfections just to be perfect for you!